Comedian Billy Crystal had a routine in which he told an acquaintance, "You look MAHvelous." The friend replied, "Well, I don't feel so hot." Crystal replied, "How you feel is much less important than how you look, and you look MAHvelous."
That, in a nutshell, is the story of the year's most-hyped car, the BMW Z3 roadster. Looks to die for, but not nearly so much fun as it would seem.
The views expressed here may seem heretical -- after all, this is the James Bond car, as seen in his latest, GoldenEye -- but for pure sports car fun, you'd be better served by the aging Mazda Miata, and for about 10 grand less.
Although the Z3 appeared in Europe before it hit American roads, it is built at only one plant, the new BMW facility in Spartanburg, S.C.
A roadster by definition is a purely fun machine, designed more to garner attention for its occupants than to perform any boring chores like carrying stuff home from the hardware store. And on that scale, the Z3 is a solid 10. It turned heads wherever I went.
The car's exterior design is a knockout -- far more impressive than the Miata's. It looks like $50,000, easy, though it's much closer to 30 grand.
My disappointment stems in part from its looks, I think. I expected it to perform like a $50,000 car. (If you have that kind of money to throw around, check out the Audi or Infiniti ragtops. For a more traditional look, the Pontiac Firebird and Chevrolet Camaro, for less than the price of the Z3, are both handsome and better realized.)
The 1.9-liter, 16-valve four (borrowed from BMW's entry-level 3-series) is a fine piece of work, but even huffing and puffing as it does, makes just 138 hp and 133 foot-pounds of torque. While that's five horses more than the Miata, the Z3 weighs in at a hefty 2,690 pounds, even with the standard five-speed manual transmission. Some 350 pounds slimmer, the Miata, with a better weight-power ratio, could eat it for lunch.
The transmission is fairly good, with short throws and easy actuation, but a little tricky to slide from gear to gear quickly, especially the important 5-4 downshift. There's not enough clearance in the pedal area for largish feet. I measured 0-60 times in the mid-9s. That would be described as adequate in an economy car, but in a machine with this aura, it's sorely deficient.
Dual airbags are complemented by four-wheel disc brakes with antilock standard -- more than a match for the roadster.
The interior is quite snug, confining, even, with the windows rolled up, but a true convertible fan will seldom do that. Buffeting at speed was low, the air flowing smoothly over the car. With top up, interior noise was moderately high.
The driver's seat was comfortable, supportive, power-adjustable -- and heated, as is the passenger's. The optional leather is a must-have.
The Z3 I got had endured some 5,000 miles of torture by my press brethren, worth 25,000 miles at the hands of real people. Still, it had been checked out by the intermediary company and purported to represent typical quality. It had more rattles and squeaks than anything I can remember testing, a passel of ragtops included.
The chassis fell far short of the extremely high standard achieved by other products of Bayerische Motoren Werke. It felt as if it wasn't screwed together very tightly, a feeling one used to get in convertibles that came into being by having their roofs sliced off without compensatory chassis buttressing. This is strange in a ground-up roadster, and comes despite having very respectable 16-inch wheels wrapped with 225/50 tires.
Ride quality was good for the type, but the infernal rattles had me looking for smooth stretches.
BMW very cleverly built flip-up cup holders into the console, but put them too far back to be other than an irritant. And in tune with the times, there's a "power tap" but no lighter or ashtray.
The top is manually operated, dropped very easily and raised with a bit more effort from outside the car. The rear window is small and made of plastic. Not only does it distort the rearward view when new, it does not allow for defroster wires. The top stows neatly with no need for a tonneau cover.
The included AM/FM/cassette stereo was quite good. It has six speakers, each with 20 watts of amplification. It also offers the always welcome weather band.
If you persist in the notion of putting a Z3 in your driveway, you'll find that the waiting list stretches far into next year. Of course the secondary market has some at thousands over sticker.
Base price on the Z3 is $28,753. The tester had metallic silver paint ($475), leather seating ($1,150), heated seats and mirrors ($500) and a trip computer ($300). Total, with freight, was $31,745.
Payments on such a vehicle would be $638, assuming 20 percent down, 10 percent interest and 48 payments. Leasing plans are available to reduce the monthly toll considerably.
Alan Vonderhaar writes for the Cincinnati Enquirer. He welcomes calls at (513) 768-8420, or e-mail at alanv@one.net.
